Wagon Train

 

The IP noticed a blog post from Atlanta’s own CNN that noted how Volvo will no longer sell wagon versions of its cars in the United States. There are many of you pithecanthropes out there who either grew up with a Volvo wagon or at least knew someone that had one. They made great hand-me-down cars for teenagers because their parents could pretty much rest assured that, even if their kids went to a keg party and later got in an accident, the vault-like build of the Volvo would keep them alive (too bad for that other guy in the Yugo).

Though the hook for the blog post was the demise of the Volvo wagon, it went on to discuss the “wagon” style in general, getting all misty for those once-common behemoths of the suburbs. The IP can do that too. Let him briefly chronicle the station wagons in his life (photos are representative):

 

   
Shortly after the IP was borned, his father purchased a 1963 Rambler station wagon similar to the one above. The IP remembers riding in the back with the brown paper bags of groceries. No seatbelt required. Good times.
 
 
  

Wagon # 2 was a fairly obscure Ford Cortina wagon, an import from Great Britain. The one The IP’s mom drove around in was navy blue. It was a piece of shite regardless.
 
 
 
   
Above is a Volvo wagon similar to the one with which The IP’s mom finished her driving career. The one she had was a copper color.
 
 
 
   
Finally, one of the best/worst wagons The IP actually owned. A 1979 Plymouth Volare (his was dark brown).
 
 
OK. To end this post is one of many Volvo “kill” YouTubes where people film their intentional destruction of old, economically unviable Volvos.  The IP was, at first, surprised at how many of these videos were out there, but then it kinda made sense; Volvos are hard to die, and wicked expensive to maintain; and adolescent (and sometimes “adult”) males are full of creative, destructive energy 
 
This Tube is fairly typical of the genre, but is notable in that it has some good choreography, is set in an interesting venue, and allows the Volvo to make its own noise.  The intentional engine meltdown at the end is a common conclusion to these stupid-but-entertaining Tubes. 
 
RIP Volvo Wagon
 
 
 

 

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2 Responses to “Wagon Train”

  1. dark brown?

  2. Dr. Kinbote Says:

    You neglected to mention that after you drove that Volare here (the muffler fell off on the way over) , y’r esteemed elderly parent (me!) sold that car. I claimed to the prospective buyer that I knew nothing about iit [a lie! I knew that it had great difficulty starting cold-I had to use etherized starting fluid]
    & he would have to asses it after a test drive. Which he did, & gave me $500 for it. i NEVER GOT ANY SALES COMMISSION !
    That Cortina was a good car! (despite the fact that the gear shift lever (floor mounted) came off once while I was driving !) I also ran into a tree (at 5 mph ) once in a torrential rain . putting an unsightly dent in the front bumper & hood.I think y’r Ma got it totaled when some clueless driver smacked into her. Y’r Ma used the $ from the insurance to go on her trip to Europe

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